ALL OTHER NEWS ON HOLD WHILE HILLARY SEEKS PRESIDENCY

The world’s media outlets have confirmed that no other stories will be featured as long as Senator Hillary Rodham Clinton is running for president. “There are probably other stories out there that are worth exploring,” said a senior correspondent for the New York Times, “but we’re competing with Hillary’s exploratory committee, and it’s full of heavy hitters. Some of us are even thinking of jumping ship to work for Rupert Murdoch’s new Hillary Channel. It may be a conflict of interest with his Fox News, but the bottom line is still the bottom line.”