SCHWARZENEGGER CONDONES TROOP SURGE TO AVOID SEX WITH WIFE

Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger told ABC’s George Stephanopoulos that he agreed with the President’s plan for a troop surge, even though it would put him in the doghouse with his Democratic wife. “I think we should give it everything in order to be victorious,” he said. “We can’t pull out of this war as losers. That would be disastrous. As the post-partisan Governor, I don’t try to please the conservatives or the liberals. I like to please the people. But pleasing Maria and her ravenous libido is another story. Since my skiing accident, I am in constant pain—even when she’s manning the ship. So to the 21,000 troops whose lives will be in peril so I don’t have to put out tonite, I say ‘thank you.’ And Cal-ee-for-nee-ya, if you need me, I’ll be on the couch.”