JAMES BAKER REMORSEFUL FOR STEALING 2000 ELECTION

When asked if he had any regrets over manipulating the outcome of the 2000 presidential election, a contrite James Baker said, “If I had known I would have to clean up Dubya’s mess, I would have let Gore win. At the time, I thought Gore was too stiff, and I would have rather had a beer with Dubya. But when I found out he was on the wagon and drinking O’Doul’s, I knew I made a grave mistake. But I had already given the Supreme Court their gift baskets, and it was a done deal.”