A LETTER FROM THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES
Dear Heiress, Arab Nation or Captain of Industry,
You’re looking well, and I hope this fundraising letter finds you filthy rich as always. It’s been a helluva six years, hadn’t it? We’ve really had this country by the short hairs. And now, with your megadonation of $10 million to $20 million, we can rewrite history by building our $500 million George W. Bush Presidential Library. Sure, it sounds like a lotta loot, but isn’t our legacy worth it? We’ll have fancy buildings, call the place a "think tank" or "institute" and bribe some influential people into writin’ articles that call me "The Great Decider."
Heiress, Arab Nation or Captain of Industry, I don’t have to tell you how important your millions are—we been there before when I was governor of Texas. And just look how your fortune paid off. So without any further a doo-doo, I promise that your check will guarantee the same great tax breaks, global warming, oil revenues, no-bid contracts, war profiteering, torture, wiretapping, Medicare bilking, education cutting and deficit spending that you’ve come to depend on. We’re in the final stretch. With your help, we can start WW III, end social security and bankrupt this country together. I know I can count on you.
Sincerely,
George W. Bush
The Prez
You’re looking well, and I hope this fundraising letter finds you filthy rich as always. It’s been a helluva six years, hadn’t it? We’ve really had this country by the short hairs. And now, with your megadonation of $10 million to $20 million, we can rewrite history by building our $500 million George W. Bush Presidential Library. Sure, it sounds like a lotta loot, but isn’t our legacy worth it? We’ll have fancy buildings, call the place a "think tank" or "institute" and bribe some influential people into writin’ articles that call me "The Great Decider."
Heiress, Arab Nation or Captain of Industry, I don’t have to tell you how important your millions are—we been there before when I was governor of Texas. And just look how your fortune paid off. So without any further a doo-doo, I promise that your check will guarantee the same great tax breaks, global warming, oil revenues, no-bid contracts, war profiteering, torture, wiretapping, Medicare bilking, education cutting and deficit spending that you’ve come to depend on. We’re in the final stretch. With your help, we can start WW III, end social security and bankrupt this country together. I know I can count on you.
Sincerely,
George W. Bush
The Prez
posted by Adair Seldon at 7:06 AM
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