WHITE HOUSE SOLICITS PROMINENT HISTORIANS FOR LEGACY CAMPAIGN

Dear Esteemed Historian,

Would you like to enhance your reputation while you help shape history? Then sign up now for one of these glowing accolades of
George W. Bush for our legacy marketing materials.

“The best president in U.S. history”
—Your name here

“The most decisive leader since FDR”
—Your name here

“The most eloquent orator since JFK”
—Your name here

“The most honest public servant since Abraham Lincoln”
—Your name here

“The most deserving president since John Quincy Adams”
—Your name here

A high-profile career opportunity like this only comes around once in a lifetime. Act now to secure your heartfelt words, and we'll throw in a free night in the Lincoln bedroom.* **

Sincerely,
The White House Public Relations Department

*Cash prizes included
**Prostitutes available upon request