NEWT GINGRICH CREATES ‘NO HOMELESS PERSON LEFT BEHIND’ ACT

Newt Gingrich’s new “No Homeless Person Left Behind Act” would create a federal program to improve the landscape and morale of the inner city by removing homeless people from the streets. NHPLB would send out trucks with cages driven by “homeless catchers” who would pick up transients and take them to a homeless pound where they will have one week to be adopted by a family before they are put down*. “We don’t need strays hanging around the streets of our cities,” said Gingrich. “They could have fleas, rabies, or worse—voter registration cards. My initiative would care for these people in a very humane fashion. They will receive three hot meals a day in their cages for a week—more than they would get on the street. In fact, I predict that when word gets out, many of them will be dying to get picked up for a week they’ll always remember.”

*Homeless immigrants not eligible for one-week grace period