GONZALES TAKES ALZHEIMER'S TEST FOR FAULTY MEMORY

Since his recent memory loss regarding his involvement with the firings of eight attorneys, Attorney General Alberto Gonzales has been ordered to take an Alzheimer’s test. Here are the results:

DOCTOR: What day is it?
GONZALES: March 31st

DOCTOR: What year is it?
GONZALES: 2007

DOCTOR: Who is the President?
GONZALES: Dick Cheney

DOCTOR: You will be asked later to remember these three words:
jump, suit, jelly

DOCTOR: Can you spell rail backwards?
GONZALES: Liar

DOCTOR: How many fingers am I holding up?
GONZALES: Just the one middle one

DOCTOR: What were the three words?
GONZALES: jump, suit, jelly

DOCTOR: Test over. You do not have Alzheimer’s. Here is your prison jumpsuit and a tube of K-Y jelly. Say "hi" to Scooter for me.