PRESIDENT BUSH RENAMES CHRISTMAS AFTER HIMSELF

It is reported that when President Bush found out that Turkmenistan’s newly deceased President Saparmurad Niyazov had renamed the months of January, April and September after himself, his mother and the Ruhnama—a history and spiritual guide he is said to have written—George W. Bush decided to change “Christmas” to “Bushmas.” Tony Snow said in a statement, “Though the President has always been a true believer in Christ, he feels very strongly that the world changed after September 11th, and today there is a new savior to celebrate.” Bush is also said to be changing his birthday to December 25th.