BUSH ADMITS WE'RE NOT WINNING WAR

President Bush said for the first time that the United States is not winning the war in Iraq. “To be honest, I hadn’t been paying attention to the score. I figured the referees were doing that," he said. "I mean, when you got the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders out there on the field, it's kinda hard to keep your eye on the ball, if you know what I mean. And after the halftime show, who wants to look at numbers. Uh, don't mention those cheerleaders to Laura."