PRESIDENTIAL HOPEFUL JEB BUSH TO CHANGE NAME

Jeb Bush’s presidential exploratory committee has concluded that his commander-in-chief aspirations will be quashed as a result of his current lineage, and that his only recourse would be to change his name and have a complete identity makeover. In addition to hiring a think tank to develop a name that will appeal to a broad demographic, John Ellis Bush (Jeb) has hired a Hollywood scriptwriter to flesh out his back story and a Beverly Hills plastic surgeon to flesh out his appearance. It is said that his new identity is currently on hold, however, due to the scriptwriter’s demand for future presidential royalties.