BUSH FAMILY SNUBS PRESIDENT

In a growing trend of not wanting to be seen with the President, Governor Jeb Bush acted like he didn’t know George W. Bush when campaigning yesterday in Florida. He quickly turned the other way and headed for the Everglades. “Things are looking bad for the President,” said a reporter. “His own mother didn’t even offer him a tuna sandwich when he was in Kennebunkport on Saturday, and there were plenty to go around.” President Bush was said to be unfazed by the snubs, saying Jeb was simply trying to avoid receiving noogies from his older brother, and his mom was protecting him from mercury poisoning. He returns to his ranch in Crawford on election day, where his dog, Barney, is holed up in his doghouse, and Laura has locked herself in the bedroom.