BUSH DRESSES UP AS IMPERIALIST WARMONGER FOR HALLOWEEN

In a surprise visit to the troops in Iraq on Halloween, the President appeared in a navy-blue suit with a red tie, a starched white shirt with monogrammed cufflinks and an American flag pin on his lapel. While several of the women officers screamed in horror, most of the male officers remained calm. Sergeant Steven Hickelford, from Wheeling, West Virginia said, “He was real scary. I could see the dollar signs and oil rigs in his eyes. But then I realized it was just a costume and he was really the C student from Texas who I’d like to have a beer with.”