KARL ROVE SMEARS HEINZ KERRY WITH GREY POUPON

Karl Rove started a vicious smear campaign by circulating a rumor that Teresa Heinz Kerry, heir of the Heinz Ketchup empire, was seen using Grey Poupon on her turkey burger. “I always knew she ran in Grey Poupon circles,” said someone close to Rove, “but such blatant disloyalty proves she can’t be trusted. It’s a good thing we ran those Swift Boat ads,” he confided. “If she were the first lady, it is certain she would have chosen the terrorists over the American people.”