CHENEY SHOOTS QUAYLE

It is reported that Vice President Dick Cheney shot former Vice President Dan Quayle in what appeared to be an accidental hunting accident. Insiders say it was a direct order from the commander-in-chief, due to a long-simmering sibling-like rivalry toward his father’s former V.P. Sources close to Cheney, however, say that he would never take orders from the f***ing President. He was simply ready to fire off a few rounds at someone since it had been a while. Quayle is said to be recovering at the Bethesda Naval Hospital and is suffering from delusions of being slow-cooked in a white wine shallot reduction.