USDA SECRETARY DISCOVERED MAKING OVERTURES TO SHEEP

It has been alleged that USDA Secretary Mike Johanns was discovered engaging in inappropriate milking techniques with several full-figured ewes at Family Friendly Farms in rural Wisconsin. One sheep came forward to say that while she went along with it, she was just yanking his chain and had no desire to date outside of her species. “It was just for shits and giggles,” she snickered coquettishly. “I’m bored as hell here in Wisconsin. I want to live in California with all those happy cows.”