LOG CABIN REPUBLICANS SWITCH TO AUNT JEMIMA

Feeling shamed by a gay pedophile who does not justly represent them, the gay Republican organization known as the Log Cabin Republicans changed their name to the Aunt Jemima Republicans. “We wanted to preserve the sanctity of our name and the liberties we stand for,” said Thomas Hewell Pettiford, lV. “We were deeply concerned with what Lincoln would be thinkin’. Frankly, we don’t care what Aunt Jemima would have thought.”