BUSH OUTED AS A ‘MO WITH HIS MANDATE

President George W. Bush inadvertently outed himself by admitting he had a 51% man date in 2004. This admission not only explains his overcompensatory homophobia, it clearly reveals his penchant for hermaphrodites. “I always figured him to like trannies,” beamed Olivier Flambé, treasurer of the Liza Minelli fan club. “But this even caught me offguard. And I’ve got gaydar like it’s nobody’s business.” Ironically, Bush’s attempt to ban gay marriage includes nothing to dissuade hermaphrodite marriage. “I can’t tell folks with two sets of genitals who they can’t marry,” he said. “I mean, with all that goin’ on down there, there’s no way of knowin’ who’s marryin’ who.”