BUSH SAYS EVERYONE IN HIS CABINET IS DOING A HECKUVA JOB

Frustrated with the continual need to defend his administration, President Bush held a press conference to proclaim that this would be his last statement concerning anything that anyone in his administration has been accused of doing or will be accused of doing in the future. “This partisan witch hunt is taking time away from the job we are all doing to defend America from the terrorists,” he said. “This is the last time I'm gonna say it—Alberto Gonzales, Paul Wolfowitz, Scooter Libby, Karl Rove, Donald Rumsfeld, Dick Cheney, Condi Rice and the new ambassador of Belgium are all doing a heckuva job and will continue to do a heckuva job. Helen Thomas: put your hand down for the next year and a half. There will be no more questions.”