JOHN EDWARDS TO HAVE FLING WITH TWO MISS AMERICAS

Since a study was released that said men who cheat on their wives make better presidents, an inside source says that along with Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton, John Edwards is now considering having an extramarital affair. “In keeping with my campaign promise, I think I should embrace the two Americas," he told an advisor. “This year’s Miss America and last year’s. If I really want to bring the country together, I could have a three-way. But that might not play with the prudes in Peoria.” It is said he initially chose to have his fling with an obese, shoeless woman from the South to illustrate the second America, but after meeting her, he argued that the analogy would be lost on most voters and that two Miss Americas would be a more potent message.*

*Posted before news of Mrs. Edwards' cancer. Best wishes to them.