BUSH AGREES TO BE TRIED BY INTERNATIONAL WAR CRIMES TRIBUNAL

Fuming over Saddam Hussein’s new martyr status, George W. Bush has decided to one-up him by turning himself in to the International War Crimes Tribunal. “You have to give the President credit for his long-term strategic thinking regarding his legacy,” said a doting Tony Snow. “Even though his life will be cut short, he will go down in history as a great martyr. Or as the President puts it, ‘I won’t really be cashin’ in my chips. I’ll just be meetin’ my maker a little sooner so we’ll be able to get in a few more rounds of poker. Hmmm, I guess I better hit the ATM before my hanging.’”