WHITE HOUSE CHEF TIRED OF COOKING FOR IMMATURE PALATE

After working for a panoply of kings, queens, sultans and prime ministers, the White House chef said his talents are going to waste with his current employer. “I make the same peanut butter and jelly sandwich for the President every day,” he lamented. “For this, I went to the Cordon Bleu Academy? Oh, sure, if Laura gets a wild hair up her ass, she’ll want a tuna salad on a bed of iceberg with some Kraft Thousand Island dressing,” he groused. “And once in a blue moon, the President will request something other than a PB&J. Just last week, he asked for a still-twirling pig on a spit delivered to the Lincoln bedroom. I’m not sure what he did with it, but afterwards, Laura was glowing like a schoolgirl. But that kind of action doesn't happen nearly enough.”