FRIST PERFORMS EMERGENCY SURGERY ON THE PRESIDENT

In preparation for the November mid-term elections, Senate Majority Leader and notable surgeon Bill Frist reportedly performed emergency brain surgery on the President to remove blocked synapses that were obstructing all viable exit strategies in Iraq. While the surgery ran longer than expected, a weary Frist said he wouldn’t cut and run. Aides were said to be hopeful of the President’s prognosis when they heard him phonetically master the word ‘nuclear’ in post-op.