BUSH LEAVES TOILET WITH NO PAPER TRAIL

In a move that made his mother proud, George W. Bush was seen leaving the bathroom with clean shoes and no evidence of t.p. While it was purported that Diebold planted extraneous substances into the commode, it could not be proven that Bush did not expel the contents himself. “I ate broccoli yesterday,” he beamed. “My dad didn’t, but I did. And the corn in there? Well that kinda speaks for itself.”