BUSH RENOUNCES THE BIBLE

Due to disappointing results from the war in Iraq, President Bush said he will no longer use the Bible to guide his foreign policy. “I’m not too sure the Lord knew where he was goin’ in Iraq, so for the next war, I’m gonna try a different book,” he rationalized. “Say, I read ‘The Stranger’ this summer. Maybe that Meursault fella has some kinda strategy for Iran. If it turns out afterwards he didn’t know what he was talkin’ about, then I’ll take Holden Caulfield’s advice on North Korea. I wouldn’t trust Huck Finn, though. That boy was a real rascal.”