BUSH OPTS FOR IMPEACHMENT

It is purported that if forced to choose, the President would prefer impeachment over resignation since he would be eligible to collect unemployment compensation. “Sure, I got out of goin’ to Vietnam, and I skipped out on my Air National Guard duty, but my dad taught me to never be a quitter," the President confided. It is said he will have an easy time fudging job search contacts on his weekly unemployment form since Halliburton, Diebold and Fox News have already committed to the ruse. “I’m not standin’ in any unemployment lines, though,” he warned. “Those are for folks who haven’t been the President.”