SPEECHWRITER LEAVES WHITE HOUSE

The White House speechwriter has suddenly resigned in order to pursue his own fiction-writing career. "Now that my fiction chops are up, I need to fly on my own two wings," said the speechwriter. "Having all these fantastic ideas like democracy spreading throughout the Middle East just given to me felt like cheating. I need to prove to myself that I can come up with stuff just as rich. But it was a damn good training ground for the political fantasy horror genre, and if I ever have writer's block, I can always come back." A spokesperson from the White House Human Resources department said the position would be filled shortly since a classified ad had been posted on monster.com.