THE PRESIDENT PARDONS TWO TURKEYS

President Bush told reporters outside the White House Wednesday, "This morning, I am granting a full presidential pardon to these two bald-headed birds, sparing them from the fate of the chopping block.” A humiliated Dick Cheney and Karl Rove said that while the pardon protects them legally, the Military Commissions Act would have done the same thing—only without a full-blown, finger-pointing ceremony in the Rose Garden.