MEL GIBSON ENTERS JEW-HAB

Mel Gibson entered a Beverly Hills treatment center in an attempt to be rehabilitated from spouting anti-Semitic remarks that, according to the actor, "aren’t me." Through the use of electrodes that emit the sound of prominent Jewish voices such as Howard Stern, Gilbert Gottfried, Fran Drescher, Joan Rivers and Roseanne into the cerebellum, it will enable him to easily tolerate other Jews by comparison. Gibson was ordered by the court to atone for his actions by attending a four-hour Yom Kippur service at Temple Emmanuel with no intermission. Afterwards, he was overheard saying, “I feel positively re-Jew-venated.”