A DYSLEXIC BUSH CAMPAIGNS FOR THE LEFT

After misplacing his dyslexia medication, George W. Bush hit the campaign trail and turned left. While he spoke on the hazards of global warming, his immediate exit strategy in Iraq, and a woman’s right to choose, his folksy charm—which included a really good fart joke—did nothing to motivate Democrat voters. The missing pills were later discovered in Karl Rove’s desk—an apparent strategic move to prevent Bush from campaigning for his own party.