IF HILLARY IS ELECTED, HUBBY WILL BECOME MR. FIXIT

Hillary Clinton said that if she were elected president, she would make her husband a roaming ambassador to the world, and he would use his skills to repair the United States' tattered image abroad. "We all know about his roaming eye, and since we got separate bedrooms, he’s been a do-it-yourselfer,” she said. “As president, I will parlay those gifts into his new position as America’s Mr. Fixit. Just as Jimmy Carter builds single-family dwellings one house at a time, Bill’s ‘Habit For Humanity’ will enable him to erect new diplomatic relations one Iraqi, Afghani, Iranian, North Korean and Palestinian at a time. He’s got his tool belt strapped on, and he’s ready to do some nailing.”