ROVE ADVISES MCCAIN ON PRESIDENTIAL EXIT STRATEGY

An anonymous source told Fox News that Karl Rove has crafted a strategy that will allow John McCain to gracefully bow out of the presidential election since McCain doesn’t want to deal with Iraq. “Apparently, since no one believed in the President's troop surge, McCain aligned himself with Bush just to look like a maverick and get a doctrine named after him (the McCain Doctrine), but the charade didn't go as planned,” said the source. “So Rove paid a White House page with a phone camera to shoot a photo of McCain at the State of the Union that made it look like he was sleeping, and then he put amphetamines in Tim Russert’s water before McCain’s interview on ‘Meet the Press’ to make John look more lethargic and taciturn. And later in the year, McCain will announce that his doctor has advised him not to seek the presidency.” An exuberant McCain was overheard telling a friend that he feels great and is ready for his next career move as either a race car driver or stuntman.