PUTIN BLAMES EX-SPY’S DEATH ON A BLOWFISH

British authorities said the traces of radioactive material that apparently killed former Russian spy, Alexander Litvinenko, who was at odds with Russian President, Vladimir Putin, were found at a sushi bar where he ate just before falling ill. The Russian President called the death a tragedy and said that it was merely a result of blowfish poisoning. The sushi bar's KGB-trained sushi chef confirmed the report. “Just because blowfish was on special to ex-Russian spies that night, no one was putting gun to his head to eat it. He could have ordered California roll,” the KGB sushi chef said. “Vhat, he’s too good for fake crab? Vell, then he deserve to die.”