RUMSFELD CANCELS PLANS TO SPEND CHANUKAH WITH THE TROOPS

The White House announced today that Donald Rumsfeld will not be spending the festival of lights with the troops in Iraq as planned since he is no longer the Secretary of Defense. Rumsfeld expressed his regrets, saying that even though he isn’t Jewish, it would have been a morale booster to all the Jewish troops since he has a ‘feld’ in his name. “I was really looking forward to the festivities,” he said. “For eight nights, I planned to light the menorah, spin the dreidel and eat those chocolate coins. I hear Halliburton makes a hell of a potato latke."