AL GORE TO MAKE ANNOUNCEMENT AT ACADEMY AWARDS

After much speculation as to whether Al Gore will announce his presidential candidacy at tonight’s Academy Awards, people in his camp have confirmed that he will, indeed, make an announcement. "It won’t be that he’s running for president, though," said former campaign manager Donna Brazille. “Tonite, in front of a billion people, Al will admit that he is the father of Anna Nicole Smith’s daughter. He figured it would be easier to break it to Tipper while they're all dolled up, with a belly full of Wolfgang Puck’s Roasted Veal Oscar with Sweet Maine Lobster, Asparagus and Sauce Choron."